


Finding oneself

by Metalqueen



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Apocalypse, F/F, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Game Spoilers, Jealousy, Masturbation in Shower, Romance, Spoilers, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-05-27 18:16:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6294697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Metalqueen/pseuds/Metalqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My female sole survivor Arwen gets out of the vault. Now she has to process everything that has happened to her and the world above. This is going to be a story about a powerful woman who is not only on a journey to find her only son, but also, herself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this quite a while ago, thought it would be fun to finally release it. Hope you'll like it!
> 
> XOXO

**Arwen (F!SoSu)**

When I'm thinking back on how everything used to be, I feel weak in my knees. I am sitting on a squeaky chair, in my old house. I remember it to be more comfortable. Now it's only like sitting on a really bad rock or something. That degree of comfort. I am seated in the house I used to live in, before the war.

My robotic butler Codsworth is cooking some kind of dinner while fixing some tea. I try extremely hard to adjust to everything, understand what is going on. It seemed like yesterday the world I grew up in was a safe place, with a healthy environment. I had a caring husband and a love-filled toddler for a son. The reality now is so different.

“Before you, sir and Shaun left, I heard on the news that it was going to be an annihilating war. The bombs dropped and I…just ran to the cellar. I hoped everyone was safe. You have been away for 200 years mum. 200 years I have dusted everything, without any result. Do you know how hard it is to get nuclear dust away from the floors?”

The world I used to know, were preparing for a nuclear war. My family and I were sent to a safety-vault underground. We were told we would be safe and sound, but it was some kind of experiment. Me, my husband, Nate and our son, Shaun were put in cryopads, as were our neighbors. Sometime later I woke up to see my husband get killed and my son kidnapped, before I went back to becoming an icicle. When I finally got out from that thing everyone was dead, all the other people in the vault. These things I sure cannot tell Codsworth, I need to keep everything for myself sometime. At least some of the things.

“We weren’t in a nice vault. We were frozen in cryopads. Nate is… Dead.”

“Oh, how terrible!” It’s almost as if I can hear my personal tin can cry when I utter my words.

“Shaun is…he is…he got…kidnapped." My voice breaks as I can feel tears streaming down my cheek.

“Oh! Mum!“ Codsworth gasps before serving me my tea and some food.

Squirrel and carrots. Nothing I had eaten before, well carrots were common, but squirrel? This is a new time, I have to tell myself. Nothing is the same anymore. Me and my butler try to comfort each other before he tells me about a town called Concord. He had heard that people still lived there. I am pretty chocked that people actually have survived the annihilation and tries to live in this broken world. Every building seems to be kind of broken down as is every car, every tree…

“How am I supposed to survive in a world like this Codsworth?”

“I am sure you can mum. Just watch out for radiation and radiated animals.”

“Yeah, well. I think I will go to the baseball arena, you know, Fenway Park, tomorrow. Maybe there are people there too.”

“As long as you will come back mum.”

“I sure will visit you again Codsworth, it’s just…this doesn’t feel like home anymore.”

“I understand you mum.”

I eat in silence, thinking of survival and the fact that I have to find my son again. An infant out in this world with people I didn’t know? I can not let him wait for too long. If there are people who can help me, I am sure they live close to Fenway Park.

It is getting darker outside so I search the houses nearby for something comfortable to sleep on and find a couch which is almost intact. I put the blue vault-suit on the table next to me along with a 10 mm gun and a baseball-bat that I had found in the vault. Fortunately I also have found myself a blanket which I use for the night. Tomorrow, I will be looting the houses for essential items. To survive, I would have to find better weapons, ammo, medicin, water, armor and other stuff.

While falling asleep I hope that this nightmare called a life will end.


	2. Work from home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Piper releases a new edition of Publick Occurences, which makes the mayor unhappy.

**Piper**

I am walking around the streets of Diamond city. Looking for a new story to write about, in a rainy day like this, was anything but inspiring. I press my newsboy cap onto my head real tight while hurrying towards a noodle-place called Power noodle. I am supposed to meet my sister here after she has finished school. We are going to celebrate our new edition of Publick Occurrences. Publick Occurences is our newspaper, one I'm working on and my little sister helps handing out. Actually I think it’s the only newspaper in Boston anymore.

The robot servant who only can say one meaning in Japanese, stands as usual behind the counter. No one is sitting on the barstools there so I can freely pick one. I choose one that doesn’t squeal too much and orders two noodles. A bit later a black-haired and freckled little girl runs to me. She gives me a big and warm hug.

“Hi Pipes! Guess what we got taught today?”

“Hi there Nat! No idea, what?”

“About the old scald Shakespeare!”

While Nat is telling me everything about Shakespeare I drift off in thoughts of Romeo and Juliet. Having a relationship which is doomed from the start, how fun would that be? How would I know anyway? I had never had the pleasure of finding someone special. Everyone seemed intimidated by my bluntness and that I always was so pushy. We start eating the noodles while I watch my sister smile from her eyes while talking to me. I know she is the only family I’ve got, the only friend I’ve got. Maybe not the only friend, but almost. The age-difference doesn’t matter, I am her big sister and would protect her from everything. Only problem is, when I will print the next issue of our magazine, I might be thrown out of town. Not everyone likes the truth, I am sorry to say.

After we finish our meals we head back to our home. My head is hanging from what I will have to tell my little sister. Entering the small shack it hits me how messy our place is. Thank God we seldom had visitors, like never. Not only did this place serve as a home, it also housed our magazine.

“Nat, you know.”

“What?”

She sits down on our scruffy couch with a Nuka Cola in her hand, while I stand leaning against a desk. 'One cigarette might help my nervousness', I think and light one. Taking a deep breath, filling my lungs with poison. I cough before I open my mouth.

“You know I might be thrown out of town when we’ve printed our next edition right?”

“Yeah, but why is it this time?”

“Telling the truth, about the fact that our mayor is a synth, won’t be popular around here.”

“Hm…”

Sadness fills Nats dark eyes, she looks so much like me.

“But you will be fine, Nick is going to check up on you.”

Nick Valentine seems to be the only other person I can trust. He is a detective searching for the truth. He usually takes care of Nat when I decide to go hunting for new articles. When I come to think of it, he is a really nice person. Honesty seems to be something he likes just as much as I do.

“Please come back soon after everything has calmed down!”

“Do you want to do the honors?”

I place myself next to the printing machine, loading up so Nat only has to push a button to start it.

“Sure!”

She jumps up from the couch, smiling and runs towards me to start the printing press. That is when I start to think about the Commonwealth’s boogeymen. The people who kidnaps people to replace them with machinelike people called synths. The problem is that no one seems to know anything about these boogeymen called the institute. Nick seems to want to stop the kidnappings as bad as me.

The thought of him checking up on my sister while I’ll be away comforts me a little while falling asleep in my own bed, later in the evening.

 

The next morning I wake up later than planned, pack a duffle back in panic before making breakfast to me and Nate. After that, we say goodbye, giving each other a warm hug before Nat runs of to distribute the new edition of Publick Occurrences. I load my 10 mm gun and get out. I walk slowly to the gates of Diamond city, I can already hear the mayor yelling foul things behind me. Banning me from ever entering again, I yell back at him that I will definitely come back. It is my home too.


	3. Dangerous woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arwen takes on the Commonwealth, bringing out the old soldier inside of her.

**Arwen (F!SoSu)**

Walking toward Fenway Park seems to be everything except an easy stroll in the park. Two seconds of walking and I have already been attacked. Three skinny radiated dogs started running at me. I shoot them, one shot each in their heads and they fall down on the ground with a loud thump. It feels wrong to kill animals, but I have to do what is necessary to survive. Wouldn't want to get rabies or something out here. No doctor in sight. Probably no one with any medical expertise at all within a couple of miles.

A german shephard is waiting for me by the gas station south of Sanctuary. South of were I started my travels and lived before the war. Reminding me of all the times we stopped to fill up our car. Nate was always singing when he got out to fill her up. He was such a sofite. I missed having him around, having anyone around. Now I have company at last, one who doesn’t say much but is warm and fluffy. Hopefully, he'll also be good at attacking villains. It would be good with a guard dog. In this wilderness, who knew what could happen?

We have arrived in a ghost town full of raiders trying to shoot us. I hide inside a building. Frantically trying to searh for some better weapons and some armor to protect me. The vault suit doesn't help much when being shot at. Jackpot! I find myself a sniper rifle and some leather armor for my chest and arms. I can see my entire life flashing by, while sitting by a wall in an abandoned house. Hearing people shout profanities outside whilst trying to shoot me, but I can't hear them. I only see when I first joined the army and met Nate. I was one of the best snipers in my group, we used grenades and weapons I thought were non-existing anymore. When me and Nate reached an understanding to get married. Then I used my intelligence and charm to become a respected lawyer instead. After that we got our son, beautiful baby Shaun.

I wake up from my thoughts by Dog’s barks and a frag grenade flying through the window, my reflexes are still intact after all these years in a giant freezer. My heart starts to pump like hell and I throw the grenade right back at my attackers. A loud bang is heard. Then I use the sniper rifle to check out how many hostiles there is. Then I shoot them down one by one. Headshot! After a while I hear Dog barking again. When I turn around I see a person with a giant tire iron and a scrappy looking armor, smile at me.

“You are going to die!” they shrieked.

I am not going to die today, I put the rifle down and strap off the baseball bat from my belt. My reflexes are better than my opponent’s. Dog is pulling the person in one arm while I use my baseball bat to punch my attacker in the head. I hear a crack from the skull and they fall down like a big sack of potatoes, blood splattering everywhere.

“Well done boy!” I scratch dog behind his ears before returning to sneak mode.

We search through every building in the city, finding some medicine, a combat knife and some more armor. When we finally arrive at a big building which looks torn, we hear voices screaming for help. I grab my shotgun while wondering how much I can really carry with me. Opening that door all hell break loose. We get shot at immidiately when stepping inside, but I hide. Dog is not so good at it, he just run to the nearest raider while I start shooting at them from my cover.

It takes us a good 30 minutes to get to the people who need help. It is a small group of five people. A very handsome dark-skinned man with a leather hat asks me to clear out the town of bad guys. Apparently the group have been visited by raiders way too many times already.

I find myself a power armor and a minigun which I use for the rest of the raiders. When I think I am done I can hear the ground shaking like an earthquake. When I turn around out there on the street I can see a huge monster with razor sharp claws and teeth looking back at me. It seems to be a mix of the deadliest animals around. I run to the nearest house for some protection before spraying it with the minigun and throwing Molotov-cocktails at it. After a while the animal slumps into a heap on the ground, bullet holes in its thick skin. I just made it, but I cannot believe it. This is not the world I grew up in, this is not the world I want.

I follow the gang to Sanctuary and leave them with my robot and power armor. I pack my bag with some food, supplies and ammo before heading back out.

I can’t let my son wait anymore! One last look on the small neighborhood with houses missing some tiles and walls. One last look at the once shiny Codsworth before heading back out.

"Bring it on!" I smile at myself as I challenge the Commonwealth.

I had already lost everything, now, I've got everything to win.


	4. Welcome to the show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Piper gets herself in some real trouble. Thankfully her knight in shining armor saves her, Arwen saves the damsel in distress.

**Piper**

“Fuck this!” I mumble with my mouth behind some tape.

One week has passed since I wrote the article about the mayor. One week with me travelling around the Commonwealth by myself. I had found an informer who had lots of information for me.

“There are rumours about this vaultdweller from vault 111. She is even scaring the Super mutants! I have heard raiders saying that they have nightmares about her.” The informer had told me during our rendezvous. “She has saved many villagers, she goes around helping people and she cleans out the Commonwealth of trash and evil. Supposedly, she is almost a Goddess!” He had told me more things she had done and left me in awe.

I had always dreamt of finding someone who liked to help others, but I never believed I would be alive to meet someone as goodhearted. After our meeting I started walking back to Diamond city. Before I even got to the guards I got hit in the head with a baseball bat and everything went black.

So, now I am sitting in a chair. My hands are tied in ropes behind my back and there's duct tape over my mouth. Two raiders are in the same dark room as me, looking tall and scary.

“This was the last time you ever walked out of the gates of Diamond city, Piper,” I think to myself.

Maybe this is the end of me. Horror strikes me as my two guards approaches me. Who is going to take care of Nat? How would she survive without me? Come on Piper, you have to get through this.

It’s really quiet everywhere, I don’t know where we are. Crows are coaxing outside and I feel my entire body filling up with anxiety. All I can see is a rather small room with wooden floors and walls. Nothing special in here, just me and the guards.

“This one is pretty don’t you think?” One of the guards says as he strikes my cheek with one of his filthy hands.

“Yeah, I heard we will use her as bait for the vault dweller. She is so going down now!”

“I heard she has a thing for helping women. Maybe it’s because she wants to fuck them?”

“I don’t know. Our only orders are to guard this little whore, we are not supposed to speak with her or anything.”

“Hm… it’s way too quiet here don’t you think?”

I drift of in my thoughts, so this is to capture Blue? I had just given someone I’ve never met a nickname. Nice one Piper. The vault suits are blue so it makes sense. I have to warn her, she can’t die because of me. The raiders next to me starts to talk about all the Jet and Psycho they are going to inject when they have time, (drugs). That is when everything turns silent, you could drop a bottle cap 3 miles from here and still hear it. All the lightning goes out as I get chills down my spine. My guards become jumpy and starts to whisper in despair to each other.

“Maybe it’s her? What if…”

That is when all hell break loose. I hear explosions and gunfire for a mere minute or so before I hear footsteps outside the door and the lights come back on. Raiders have been yelling in fear which I thought was something new. The door opens quickly and my guards drop dead.

Firstly I see a familiar face, Nick Valentine is smiling at me underneath his battered fedora and put his pistol in its holster. Seeing the other person I am happy I already sit down. If angels were real I have found one. A rather tall woman with really sexy muscles stand beside him. Her hair is totally blue and she is dressed in skintight leather, both jacket and pants. She wears a black bandana with a skull around her face. She is also extremely packed with firepower and ammo, holding a shotgun in her hands. A crooked smile starts to dance across her face as she come closer.

“Hi kid!” Nick greets me.

“Hi! I suppose you are the great journalist Piper Wright and that you want to get rid of this tape?”

The woman asks me with the most angelic voice I’ve ever heard. It is also a bit deeper than is normal for a woman. Her voice makes me shiver of pleasure.

“Haha, you don’t know this yet, but this must be the first time I’ve ever seen her silent,” Nick chuckles.

“Well, this seems rude. I’ll help you lady.”

Blue walks up to me and helps me get rid of the tape. Her eyes leaves me mesmerized, they are a fine mix of blue and grey. It feels like she can see through my soul and I feel a jolt go through my body where she touches me. She bends down by the side of the chair to untie me and that is when I see it, the most perfect bottom in the whole world. I just can’t take my eyes of it. This meeting just leaves me breathless.

“Nice hands you’ve got there, you certainly seem to handle your guns. I wonder if they are as good with other things…ugh, I mean…” I can feel my face heat up.

“Haha, you bet I am! And… you are welcome. I am Arwen by the way.”

“Nice to meet you Arwen.”

We shake hands and I can’t help but wish that her smile will stay on her face forever. Nick smiles at me with his yellowish eyes glowing. He is not lighting a cigarette, which normally has been one of his favorite things to do in lack of something else to occupy his time with. Weird, but I don’t think much of it.

“So how did you happen to get here kid?” Nick asks while he hands me my backpack that laid by the corner of the room.

“Well, I was on my way back to Diamond city actually. These raiders talked about kidnapping me to set up a trap for you, Blue.”

“Aha, I could see that. I seem to have a thing for saving damsels in distress.”

“I could see that, my knight in shining armor,” I tried to joke.

“Yeah, I could be anything for you honey,” Arwen winks at me.

I can feel my face burning and turning redder than my own coat. I am not used to this, having found someone who can tease me more than I can tease them. Jeez, she is extremely charming too. How will I survive this, so much charm in one person can’t be healthy.


	5. Good for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A gang of friends is hanging around in the Commonwealth, for a while, everything seems safe. Or does it?

**Arwen**

As soon we get out of the big military building, Deacon and McCready come running to meet us along with Dogmeat. They seem to be worried for some reason.

These guys had helped me a lot during this week, as I had helped them. I never thought I would find so many friends in such short amount time. Both of them hold big sniper rifles in their hands and starts talking at the same time.

“What the hell happened in here?” They both ask as Dogmeat bark.

“Well, we just saved this lady here,” Nick put a hand on Piper’s shoulder.

“Yeah, but it took so long we thought something happened,” Deacon declares while removing his black sunglasses from his face.

“Guys, you know me, we had to loot the building for some good stuff,” I smile at my friends.

I hand Deacon a silenced Pipe rifle and McCready some more ammo for his rifle before introducing them to Piper. After a short walk, we see the sky turning dark. Travelling the Commonwealth in the dark is not a good idea, unless you want to be shot, eaten or maybe even buried alive. Being five people and a dog is no exception.

We had seen a small abandoned settlement only a short walk away from us so we head over there in silence. Or not really, Piper is starting to argue with McCready on something, I am not sure about what.

Piper, what can I say about her? Nick had told me there was a great reporter needing some help. All I knew was she had a newspaper and a little sister. When we barged in to rescue her I really had to struggle for my words. The sight of her left me breathless, her raven hair, cute freckles, tanned skin and her dark hazel eyes. Her newsboy cap with a note saying “press”, her red coat… I will never forget how she looked after removing the tape of course.

 

When we get to the settlement there are a lot of ghouls covering the house and fireplace. I feel rage rising in my chest as I swing my machete at them. My companions try to shoot some of them, but I guess my kill count is higher than theirs. Feeling the machete slice thru these creatures makes me feel a bit more content with my own life. After my rage attack I just stand in the middle of the yard by the fireplace. There are dead ghouls around me and my companions run towards me.

“Shit! We have to fix dinner now!” Deacon yells to the others as he lights the fireplace.

McCready is running away to fill a large teapot with water and a big bucket too. Nick starts to look for vegetables that grows in the garden and starts to chop some up. I just stand there, doing nothing, feeling my rage returning. My breath is getting heavier and I just want to scream out loud, but I contain myself. I can’t scare Piper just yet. I have finally found someone who makes my knees weak and my heart beat faster. Losing her this fast wouldn’t be fun at all. I feel a soft hand at my shoulders and a cold dog’s nose at my hand. I put my machete in the belt and start to pet Dogmeat. My rage is wearing of as I turn to face the person who the hand belongs to. Piper smiles awkwardly at me and I melt. Those hazel eyes could make me do anything.

“Hey, you okay, Blue?”

“Now I am,” the other woman blushes and it’s the cutest thing I have ever seen.

“So, you really need to eat right?”

“Yeah, or else I’m kind of turning into a monster.”

“Guess you need some traveling fuel.”

She hands me some bubble gum, it makes me a little less hungry so I can go fix the radstag meat we have saved for this dinner. I thank her before I chop the meat and grills it before putting vegetables and meat in the pot. Feeling many eyes on me while I fix the dinner, before I tell them to go find beer, something to eat from and some spoons. Deacon runs away to fix some tree stumps to sit on by the fire.

When the food is ready we all sit down by the fire, Piper sits on the branch next to me. Feeling her heat makes me uncomfortable, because I feel that I need her in my life. It also makes me happy as I realize that, maybe, I am allowed to love someone again.

We eat in peace, telling jokes and listening to Deacon telling a bunch of lies and truths. He leaves it to us to figure out what is true and what’s not.

After dinner we take one more beer each and I tell them about before the war, about campfire tales.

“Let’s talk about our latest love stories,” I say looking at McCready’s smile.

“Let me begin,” he says. “I was married to a wonderful woman and we had a son. She died and I am out on the market again.”

“Then it’s me,” Deacon says. “Well, I was married to the most beautiful woman you’ll ever see. She got killed and now I don’t want anybody else.”

“Hm, then it’s me,” Nick says. “Well, I never thought about a relationship. Maybe I am married to the job just like your dear Magnolia, Arwen.”

“Haha, yeah…well me and Magnolia had some fun together it’s nothing more than that. My last relationship was with a man who I loved but wasn’t really attracted to. So, I guess I lose this round. Did I tell you he got shot? But we have a wonderful son out here somewhere, taken from me.”

Everyone looks at Piper whose face turns redder than her long coat. She pulls down her newsboy cap a bit and starts to fiddle with her green scarf. Some of her black hair gets in her eyes and I reach out to put it behind her ear. That is when our eyes locks together, it feels like a lightning bolt goes through my body. It’s as if she can see through my soul. I withdraw my hand and keep the warmth from Pipers skin in my mind.

“Uh, I…Haven’t had a relationship with anyone. But I want to,” she mumbles coyly.

She drinks the last of her second beer, clearly she is a bit drunk from this little alcohol, cute with a lightweight. Her eyes trying to look away from me.

“So, I… Hell, I think I am a bit too pushy, nosy and truthful. Besides I have too high expectations. When I was a kid I dreamt of meeting someone who would have a heart pure as gold, wanting to help, tell the truth. They would save me from myself and have a dog. The only other thing I dreamt about this person was their scars, one on the left arm just above the hand, one small on the right knee, one on the right side of their lips and one above the left eyebrow. They also had a tattoo on their right shoulder. They would also be romantic and charming as no one I’ve met. Guess my dreams run wild huh?”

“Shit girl, that’s some intense shit. Look at Arwen, hey, how’s your scars looking?” Deacon seems really excited as I smile at him.


	6. Strike at the heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Piper has a private moment in the shower before Arwen comes to visit.

**Piper**

Coming back to Diamond city feels so much better than I had expected. Especially since I am now sitting in my own couch with Nat embracing me. I tell Nat all about my travels and she tells me how everyone was upset with my article. Well, not all about my travels, I leave out the gorier and violent parts of course. She is still but a child.

“I know, the guards didn’t let me in at first. Since I was in company with Blue who actually has merchant friends they let us in anyway.”

“Where are they know?”

“At Dugout Inn I guess.”

How nice it feels being in company with my sister again. I can’t help to think of Blue’s hair and her blue-grey eyes though. What if I’ve screwed up? I sigh as I get up from the couch, looking around at the mess called our home. Thinking that I should probably clean this up after my shower. If Blue would come over I really needed to clean up, or else I might not get my interview.

I bring one towel to the shower, get undressed and thinks about how it would feel having the vault-dweller there too. Or maybe she should be called the Sole survivor, since she was almost the only one in her vault who survived. When I turn on the shower I thank the lord for hot water. THen I start to picture Blue’s naked body before me. Her big boobs and firm bottom. How she would use her fingers on me if she was here, maybe let that tongue of hers meet mine as we kiss. Her arms feeling warm and strong, holding me close. At the same time I start picturing this I let my own hands massage my breasts before spreading my own legs. Letting my right hand rub the sweet spot between my legs. I can feel my blood rush down as I picture that it is Blue doing me, rubbing my clit. After a while I putting two fingers inside. Curling them to rub just the right place, making me feel my head swirl out of how good it feels. I am so turned on by now that it doesn’t take long for my explosions inside, as I have to bite my lip so not to scream out of the pleasure. That is when I hear Blue’s voice downstairs.

“Hi there!”

This is the first time I actually had an orgasm, my head is floating and I feel my body weaken as the pleasure is too good to be true. Why had I never did this to myself before? Maybe it is Blue bringing out my sexuality? Shit it feels good! Then I freeze in the shower, had she come here? Before we had cleaned, before I had showered? I clean myself as quickly as I can before putting on some underwear, jeans and a shirt.

When I get down to Nat and Arwen I am not really prepared for it. They are sitting in the couch eating snacks. This is not what surprises me, but Arwen is now wearing a tuxedo and a formal hat. It suits her perfectly and she looks really handsome. My eyes, I just can’t take them off of her.

“Hi there Pipes! I’m here for the interview. But I’ll only do it in one condition.”

“Hi Blue! Sure anything for you.” My ears are burning again, I have to bite my lip not to say anything stupid again.

Nat smiles as she gets up from the couch to go play with her toys or something.

“Let me take you to dinner.”

“Sure, but…it’s not like a date I hope?”

“Haha, no, I don’t date women who dislikes me being a pre-war relic as you have called me several times already.”

“Oh, I don’t mean…”

“I know, let’s get started.”

 

We do the interview and afterwards we go to Power noodles, I watch her go first, taking a seat next to the bar. The robot chief brings out two plates of noodles as I take a seat next to her. This time the noodles whiff of a different scent than earlier. They smell like something I have never eaten previously and I am used to eating here. As I watch the food I don’t only see noodles and the slimy soup I am used to, there are actually some meat and vegetables in there too. Blue is pouring one glass of red wine to both her and me. The first bite of dinner makes me want to eat more, it tastes just like heaven. Nothing I have eaten has tasted this good before. We eat in silence, until I start sipping the wine of course.

“Thanks once again for saving me. I actually don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t rescued me.”

“I am really glad I did. Being held hostage by the raiders that is not even a faith I would wish my worst enemy.”

“You are really good at handling your guns, maybe you are good at handling other things with those fingers?”

“Are you suggesting something?”

She looks flirty at me as my face heats up once again, this seems to be a common thing around this wonderful woman. I start to stutter before taking another nip of the wine. Blue starts to laugh, the most earnest laugh I’ve ever heard. Hearing her laugh is like music to my ears and I finally gather some courage to say something more.

“I just thought… well, I am glad you asked me for this date.”

“So it’s a date then?”

“I am so sorry for not dressing up properly, I guess I’m not used to these occasions.”

“You better get used to them, because I would like you to follow me into the wilderness of the Commonwealth tomorrow as you promised.”

“Are you taking your whole crew with you?”

“No, only you this time.”

My head is spinning around just by the thought of me and Arwen together roaming the wilderness. Searching for new stories and people to help. Me going anywhere with someone else, not just me. It’s hard to believe this woman has been married to a man and gotten a son, she seems so full of life. What is even harder to believe is that she wants me to come along for the search of her son. I feel blessed. Chosen. Special. Things I've never felt before. I looked forward to our adventure.


	7. Burning love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arwen thinks back to the date with the reporter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was written quite a while ago and is not one of my main works, it will be finished sometime. I will focus on my other works firstly though.
> 
> Hope you'll like it!
> 
> XOXO

**Arwen**

I wake up after my first good night's sleep since before the war. It must be thanks to the gorgeous reporter...

While I'm looking around my little room at the Dugout’s Inn, I realize that I need to get my own place in this city. All that is in here is a small bed, which is not particularly comfortable, a drawer, a little coffee table and some chairs. It’s also really dusty and looks really worn out. The people who owns this place doesn’t seem to want to pay much to make it more comfortable either.

I sigh before I check out my road leathers for cracks, I find one which I start to fix with some leather I have in my bag. My duffle bag is filled with stuff that I might need and now I need it more than ever. I check that I’ve got everything necessary before I start to dress up. There's stimpaks, water, ammo and other important things in the bag. Good, we might make it in the Commonwealth for a while after all.

When I'm almost ready to head out, I start thinking of the reason I have started to see color in this world again.

 

After our dinner I took Piper with me to the elevator in Diamond city. The sky had turned dark and we could see the stars shining. In one hand I had a small basket full of surprises for my date and the other just hung there awkwardly next to Piper as we walked. I thought about how suave I had been back before the war. How women had loved me without me having to make an effort. Suddenly remembering that when it comes to love, my gaydar, was firstly totally off and I had no clue of what I should do about it. We got in the elevator and pushed a button to go up, then it just parked there without anyone else being able to use it. Thankfully I had people who did services for me, so I could be a bit romantic. There were two comfy chairs in the elevator and a radio, which there usually wasn’t. Piper got as blown away by everything as I was.

“Oh!” Piper sighed while looking at the stars.

We drank some more wine as we talked a bit more, before I revealed my big secret called Tatocrisps. They tasted sweeter than usual crisps and were homemade by myself and Codsworth from homegrown tatos. Sitting there watching the stars with Piper, felt so right in many ways. We didn’t talk much but I thoroughly enjoyed her company anyway. That was when someone I also had helped, Travis Miles got on the radio. He was the DJ on Diamond city radio.

“Here is a song for a friend of mine, all our favorite vault dweller and our reporter! I hope your evening plans are going well. This is Burning love with the King of rock.”

I looked at Piper as she stared at me in awe, she was probably a bit taken by surprise.

“Did you?” She asked as I stood up from my chair.

“Well, yeah I had some favors to ask. This is my favorite song though, so my lady, would you honor me with this dance?”

As the intro started playing she took the hand I offered in hers and stood up. Her touch felt like a burning sensation on my skin, as we made way to the part of the elevator were we could dance. I took my right hand and placed it around her waist as she put hers around my neck. Looking into each other’s eyes with just the moon as the light source, hearing Elvis sing, I started to join in. Letting my heart out for I loved this song. Maybe, I thought, I might love this woman I am holding now. She was much shorter than me and that felt great. I took my chance and pulled her as close to me as I could.

“Lord almighty, I feel my temperature rising. Higher and higher it’s burning through to my soul.” I sang along to the song as Piper smiled at me, sending electric sparks through my entire body.

Without further hesitation I looked at her full lips wondering if they were as soft as they seemed to be. That was when she leant up and kissed me whilst Elvis sang “Your kisses lift me higher”. The softness of her lips against mine, her hands around my neck, mine behind her back. It was the most beautiful feeling I had ever known, it was like fireworks everywhere inside me and my butterflies flew around like crazy in my stomach. We kept dancing and kissing until midnight. After 12, we kissed goodnight outside her door.

 

Thinking about this makes me smile as I put my bag over my shoulder, before entering the reception at the Inn. Vadim Bobrov stands there as usual. He is one of the owners, is rather muscly and talks with a Russian accent. Vadim beams at me as he sees my own smile.

“I trust it it went well yesterday, yes? You did not come back before we got to bed.” He smile teasingly.

“Yes it did, thanks for your help with finding that holotape for Travis. I love that song. Besides, say my thanks for Travis, it really made the date!” I grin back.

“No problem friend. Good luck today!”

“Thanks!”

My smile starts to fade as I grasp the fact that I might lose the only person I think I can ever love now. Today, me and Piper will do something incredibly stupid and dangerous. I will go after my husband’s killer and maybe get to know where my son is. I stop by the Power noodles to get myself some breakfast. Takashima, the robot who serves there, gives me just some fried meat and vegetables. He knows what I want by now and I thank him dearly as I hand him some extra tip. After breakfast I turn to Publick Occurrences to see Nat and Piper exit their home. Piper in her red coat, green scarf and newsboy cap. Nat gives her an embrace afore running to me for a hug.

“You take care of my sis now, you hear me?” She threatens before letting go.

I tell her that I will definitely do that, before walking over to Piper, not knowing if I should kiss her or hug her. How much does Nat know and how open is she about being together with another girl? Or being together, we just kissed and were on a date. As I open my arms I can see Piper thinking for a moment before giving me a really good kiss. I thank her in my mind for taking the lead here. We hug and kiss some more as I feel some kind of fire burning from where she touches my body.

“Hello you too!” I say, feeling for the first time that I turn red.

“Hi there, Blue! That was my thanks for yesterday. You were really nice to look at…I mean hang around.” Her face turns to the usual crimson color.

I laugh as I turn around to say goodbye to the guys who have helped me for some time. Dogmeat comes running, he likes to hang around Deacon for some reason but now we need him for our mission. I give them all big hugs before telling them to take care of themselves.


	8. After Kellogg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Most part of the chapter describes how Arwen and Piper handles the aftermath, meeting Kellogg. More like, how Arwen can't handle it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some spoilers for the main quest.

**Piper**

We start to walk together through the gates of Diamond city, our arms limping by our sides.

I have trouble understanding Arwen, this amazing woman by my side. She had been through so much and seemed like she had the best confidence in herself all the time. Except when it comes to love she, then she seems even more awkward and insecure than myself. I decide to take matters in my own hands, literally and Blue smiles at me while I grab a hold of her hand. Together with her I feel stronger than ever before and I can’t wait to let the Commonwealth get back for all the shit it has thrown at us.

 

**(5 days later)**

 

This mission didn’t end as planned, it has now started to get dark and we have just found someplace safe to sleep. I start to prepare some sort of dinner in this abandoned home while Dogmeat sits by his owner begging for some love. Arwen just sits on a straw pillow on the floor staring at the wall.

It took us a good five days to track down and get to Kellogg. Arwen had no choice but to kill him. After that she went into some kind of shock as me and Dogmeat almost had to drag her away to this shelter.

She is not looting around for junk to use for something exciting, she is not saying anything. I sigh as the vegetable and iguana soup boils over the small fire I have made.

When I turn around to look at that beautiful angel sitting by the floor she is gone, Dogmeat too. I sure hope she won’t be gone for long, I don’t like the thought of her being away from me. Now I have gotten used to our teasing and our “boxing” –games or whatever we did. I have gotten accustomed to her making me blush, us kissing but not sharing bed. Us sleeping in only T-shirts and panties. As I yell that the dinner is ready I feel a bit like a housewife doing all the work. I get it though, she is in shock and I have to support her now. Arwen comes back with her arms full of bottles with vodka, beer, wine and Bobrov’s best moonshine. I shake my head in disappointment, alcohol won’t make anything better.

“Look what I found! This moonshine is the strongest I’ve tasted in like 200 years!” She cheers as she takes a sip straight from the bottle.

“Ah, Blue…Let’s eat something,” I say while frowning at the bottles.

We eat in silence, I drink a beer while Blue is drinking not one, but three bottles of strong liquor. Now she is actually starting to get drunk. She surprise me, I have seen bigger people than her pass out from one bottle.

After dinner we sit down in a couch as Dogmeat lay curled up on the floor beneath Arwen. She starts to cry.

“I am so, so sorry for everything! I shouldn’t have brought you along on this trip. I feel like a monster!” Arwen mumbles between her sobs.

“Oh no, don’t say that.”

I let her head rest on my chest as I twist her hair between my fingers. Her sobbing intensifies as she looks at me with reddened eyes.

“I have been terrible! Killing all these people, shooting animals, soaking up radiation like it doesn’t affect me. Going about my life without showing any remorse. This is the first time like ever I cry, I have always been good at hiding my sadness.”

“It’s good you are so determined and can take care of yourself. Not so good that you keep all those feelings inside though. You know you can always talk to me right?”

“Killing Kellogg made me realize I am no better than him,” she almost whispers, ignoring my earlier statement.

“You are way better than him. It was either you or him.”

The pain in Blue’s eyes, I just wish I can take it all away. She doesn’t understand how valuable she is for this world, or me. She is crying while she tells me how she used to be a soldier before the war, a great sniper apparently. How she got tired of it when she realized their “enemies” were no enemies, but the real enemy was the government. That was why she let Nate stay there by himself as she became a lawyer. This explained much to me, I had wondered how it was possible she could be so smart but still handle herself.

“It kills me inside you know," she started to draw circles with her index finger on my belly. "Killing, even though they deserve it. I feel that I should be better than that. Before the war, they could make movies about killing people, children, but animals? No, then people shot the producer.”

“Oh, it seems like you have a lot to take in Blue.” I kiss her head, thinking about the absurdities in what she tells me.

“You know one thing people didn’t approve of before the war either?” Her eyes scanning my face, looking ashamed.

“What?”

Her sobbing stops and she stands up from the couch, it takes some time because she is really unstable. I get up too as she turns around to look at me, her eyes half shut and her forehead frowning. Her cute freckles dancing in the light of some candles.

“This", she kisses me once again before falling into a human pile at the floor.

“What do you mean?”

Everything with her seems so different and ancient. She sits up, holding her hands around her legs.

"It has not always been accepted with same sex relationships. My parents got mad at me when I was 15 and had told them about my girlfriend. Nate and I got married so that people would stop bugging us about it. He was as gay as me for real.”

“What? You mean that only boy girl relationships were okay?”

My head starts to swirl, she says so strange things that I don’t know how to respond or what to ask. I never realized that there could be a reason Blue didn’t want to show how much she liked me in front of others. Nowadays, not a single person cared if anyone dated a man or woman, people knew not to get involved in other people’s businesses.

“Yeah, guess that is why I have a hard time adjusting to this,” she gestures between us.

“No one cares if we are kissing or holding hands.”

“I guess something got better after the bombs fell then. Thanks for listening to my bullshit," a weak smile spreading across her face.

“Hey, you listen to all my bullshit all the time,” I grin back at her before placing a peck on her forehead.

“Well then, let’s get to bed. You wanna sleep with me?”

“Wait…you mean?”

“Just sleep, I am way too drunk for anything else.”

I feel my face burning up again, why did I even think of asking? Of course she's not up to it after today's adventures. I'm not ready yet either, but still, I want nothing more than to be close to this woman. She makes me whole.


	9. Hangover in the wilderness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arwen and Piper wake up next to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I have been temporarily blessed with some motivation to write. I hope you'll like this chapter.
> 
> I also want to say that there will not be any major character death in this story, since I don't like to read that myself either. 
> 
> XOXO

**Arwen**

Waking up next to the most stunning woman I had ever met, made my hangover a little better.

Why did I have to drink so much the night before? Oh right, I remember. It wasn’t actually worth it though. My whole body felt a lot lighter after letting Piper talk some sense to me. Telling someone about my feelings felt so uplifting and intimate.

We are laying face to face in the bed and I can count every one of Pipers freckles. The sun is shining through the window and I can hear some birds chirp outside. This moment feels so perfect, except my hangover and the feeling of guilt lingering. I did not enjoy killing Kellogg as much as I had hoped.

I let my hand touch Pipers raven black hair before I kiss her luscious lips. She wakes up and looks at me in confusion before realizing it’s me.

"Oh, good morning doll!" She says as she kisses me back.

"Good morning to you too."

I can feel her hand behind my neck, pulling me closer. Our lips eager for more, I let my lips separate just to let her tongue into my mouth. The feeling of her tongue against mine makes my blood disappear from my brain. I let my other hand trace down her side to the soft skin of her thighs before I let it squeeze her bottom. It is really firm and I just can’t stop feeling it. We keep kissing, letting our tongues taste each other. This makes me really eager and as I open my eyes I can meet Piper’s gaze, she seems surprised when I put her on her back and myself over her. Letting one of my hands trace the contour of her chin, then I let it massage her breasts as I begin to kiss her neck. Her breath is becoming heavier as she starts to moan. I put one of my legs between her legs, rubbing her sweet spot with it. She starts to moan even louder as I also start to kiss her nipples through the fabric of her shirt. When I let my fingers trace down from her breasts, to feel her clit through her underwear I can hear her screaming of pleasure.

"Fuck Blue! Oh, don’t please, don’t stop."

"I won’t."

I smile as I keep rubbing her, but Piper changes her mind. She takes a firm grip of my hand and removes it as she stops to make sounds. I get a chilly feeling inside, what did just happen? Piper went from extremely happy and horny to, an alien? I had never seen her this cold before.

"I’m, not ready I guess."

"It’s okay."

We get up without a word, making breakfast and getting dressed, the only thing I say is to Dogmeat. I ask him if he is ready to go back to Diamond city.

My mind clouding up with why Piper just wanted to stop when it started to feel really good. I knew she was a virgin and all I wanted to do was to give her the best time ever. Thinking about what I could have done wrong, but I didn’t know.

 

Some nights ago it was her sitting in my lap with only her underwear on, begging me to keep kissing her. I didn’t do anything else to her than kiss her and she got frustrated.

“God Blue! Why are you so damn good? I want you! Stop being such a gentlewoman damn it!”

I had earlier that evening promised her that we would go slowly, since she had told me about the fact that she hadn’t had sex before. Maybe it was the wine that made her so eager. We did not proceed that evening.

 

Me and Dogmeat went for a small walk of our own to let him pee. Coming back to the house I saw Piper getting ready to go with a really sour face. This seems to be the first time that I have seen her in any mood but happy, except the day we rescued her from the raiders I guess. I don’t ask her about it, and she doesn’t say anything.

My only thought is that when we get back to Diamond city, I don’t know when I will meet her again. I have missions I have to do with my other companions. Would I even come back to her alive? Who knew? Life in the Commonwealth was anything but safe. If one wasn't careful enough. You would be toast. 

We find an old gas station that looks good enough to stay at for a while. That's were we stay for a lunch break. I have to talk to her now, the tension between us had gone crazy. I couldn't live like this, not talking to her. 

 "So, what’s wrong?"

"Jeez Blue, I can’t hold anything away from you, can I?" Piper smiles weakly at me.

"No. I guess not."

"I don’t know, I just…"

"I am sorry if I pushed you."

"It’s not your fault, it’s mine." She takes off her cap and starts to fiddle with it.

"I am sorry anyway, especially as we won’t see each other in some time. When we get back to Diamond city, I have some other quests to go on."

Piper looks as though she had been shot at, maybe I had forgotten to tell her that I would be away from her sometime. Oh, well. I started to roast some squirrels to us, the only food we could find this time.

"Wait, you said? You are not going to see me anymore?" 

"I will go on some other missions with my other companions, that’s all."

"But you will come back to me?"

"I will always come back for you."

I intend to kiss her on her forehead, but she is fast and has another agenda. Piper plants a big kiss on my lips. 

"I'm sorry Piper, I want you to feel safe and loved."

"I'm sorry too Arwen. I'll explain later, okay?"

I nod to her as we kiss again. Hungrily, like we won't have more time for each other. Like this is our last kiss. It feels sad in the same time that it feels amazing. Having Piper close, makes me feel good. Though, her coldness a couple of hours ago hasn't quite left me yet. I only hope that we will be able to work this out. Who knows how much time we'll have together?


	10. Not so Blue anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Piper meets Cait and Blue returns to Diamond city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Felt extremely motivated to work on this fic today. I hope you'll like it!
> 
> XOXO

**Piper**

Two months has passed since the last time I saw Blue, one week has passed since she sent me her last message. Now I have started to worry pretty badly, firstly because it is dangerous out there and secondly because I don’t know if we are an item for real.

Last night I had been out with Nick and Deacon. They were still around, since Arwen had went on an adventure with just McCready and Dogmeat. Nick asked me about my girlfriend and I had told them that I wasn’t sure if we were a couple yet. That was when both guys had stared at me in disbelief.

“Shit! You are telling the truth,” Deacon had said.

“Well, you sure should try to hold on to that one, you never know about the Commonwealth,” Nick had said.

“Don’t…you think she might find someone else?” I had asked in my uncertainty.

“Nah," Deacon puts away his sunglasses to look at me. "She fancies you way too much. Besides, there aren’t many pretty girls left in this world.”

I blushed before I hit Deacon on his shoulder making him flinch as my tiny wrist reached him.

“Oh, never thought you were so strong,” he laughed.

We drank some more, and I told them why I was worrying. Deacon gawked at me with his mouth wide open and Nick seemed really concerned. All of this while I shared my story about mine and Blue’s last morning together.

“Well my lady, it seems as though you owe your damsel an explanation as she gets back.”

“If she gets back to you,” Deacon seemed sad for me as he petted me on the back. “One more shot each!“

 

This morning I wake up with I guess, a hangover? I had never had one before, my head ache and my body feel more tired than usual. The market outside my home seems to be more happy and loud than I could ever recall it to have been before. I hate them, not thinking about my poor head. Nat run up to my bed screaming at me.

“You got to look! There is someone new in this town!” she squealed while jumping up and down.

“Jeez, as long as it’s not Blue I don’t care.”

“My God sis, you really have nothing else to think about? She will come back you know.”

Resentfully, I put a green shirt and a pair of clean jeans on my body as the world spin around. Had it always been this hard to get dressed? After what felt like an entire workout, I get to the kitchen to get some water.

I can hear someone talking with a weird accent outside. I hate it, her voice, I want her to be silent. Shit, I had never hated the world this much before. I find myself an ice cold Nuka-Cola in the fridge which I drink in two seconds, before fixing myself up a bit to go out. Feeling the sugar inside makes my head feel a bit better. I only want to kill people half as much now as I did before.

“Hey sis! I’m going out for a while, don’t forget to go to school!” I shout before walking out the door.

“I promise!”

When I get to the power noodles, I see someone I had never seen before. A redheaded woman with a tan suit sits by the counter, eating. She seems to be a bit muscly and is apparently the owner of the horrible accent. Only one bar stool is empty, beside her, so I sit down, regretting it right away.

“Hey gorgeous! Can you buy me another beer?”

THe stranger asks as I order my lunch. She looks at me with her green eyes and mysterious grin. It looks as though she recognizes me, but I had never seen this person before.

“Well, no.”

“Okay, suite yourself. I am a great informer and I’ve heard you are a reporter. I have been hanging around the sole survivor, y’ know.”

“Okay, two beers then Takashima,” I hastily say before I miss any important facts. “Tell me everything!”

“So, I’ve been fighting in this gigantic cage at Combat zone for ages,” she clears her throat before continuing. “Recently, a knight in shining armor came in with her side-kick clearing out the place for raiders in about three seconds. I can tell you, there were many raiders. Must have been at least twenty of them in a crowded place. Still, she managed to pick them on by one. I bet her dog and side-kick didn’t get the chance to blink before she was done. She was running around the place in some skintight leather and I mean, her arse! I could definitely take a bite of that."

“Ugh, so, she saved you?“

I regretted talking to her, why did she say those things about my girlfriend, or maybe-friend? My ears are starting to burn, this gal is not allowed to say such things about my knight in shining armor. She is mine! But I can't help to think that this person I am talking to is a very good storyteller, I want to know more about all her adventures.

“She did! She got me contract ‘n all! Arwen you fucker! Where are you darlin’?”

“Here!”

My heart takes a giant leap as I recognize a person in a black leather jacket and blue jeans who walks straight to me. Her long, blue hair all let out, it almost reaches her butt by know. Her blue-grey eyes are locked in on me and God I had missed her. As she gets into my arms, I can’t stop kissing her and she kisses me back.

“I have missed you so much my dear Piper!” Arwen says before letting her head rest on my head, she is that much taller than me.

“I have missed you too.”

Tears starts to stream down my cheek. I always try to show off how badass I am and that I can make it by myself. The truth is, I can, but also, I don’t want to be without this woman.

“I love you Piper Wright,” Arwen says before I kiss her again. Sparks are flying everywhere around me. I start to think that I’m an electric wire that has been attached in the wrong place or something because of this. My tears keep prickling down my cheeks as well. God, I’m glad that we’re okay. All this time spent worrying. I didn’t have to, she loves me for being me. I had never thought I would find someone who would.

“I love you too Arwen.” She smiles at me before she starts to frown.

“Are you okay, honey?”

She helps me wipe off my tears, really seeing me. I have never been seen like this. She cares. She exists. She’s still alive and mine.

“These are tears of joy,” I sigh before hugging her tight once more. “I didn’t think you would want me after…”

“Of course I want you. My blabbermouthed journalist girlfriend.” I smile before I jokingly punch her chest.

“Good, because I don’t want to lose you now that I’ve got you.”

Then I remember Cait sitting close to us, giving me the creeps. Because I feel like if there will be a reason me and Arwen won’t work out, it will probably be her. She’s more gorgeous than me, more fit and probably better in battles. Maybe even better in bed. That thought makes me shiver in a bad way. I feel jealous of her, but then again, I am the one kissing Arwen. I am the one who is her girlfriend.

“Can I steal you away for the night?” I whisper in my girlfriend’s ear.

“We can do anything you want baby,” she whispers back, her soft lips softly touching my ear.

We start walking to my place, hand in hand. A screaming Nat runs out to greet Blue.

“I’m so happy you’re back! My sis has been worried sick!”

“I’m happy to be back as well!” Blue hugs Nat and sends me a sparkling smile. “I think you’ve got school now. Go learn things so you can teach us later.”

“I will!”

She runs off again, leaving me with my girlfriend. I give her another kiss, those lips of hers are definitely addictive. Now that she is by my side again, life feels better than ever. I can hardly believe my luck, having such a wonderful woman by my side. As I open the door to my place, it hits me how messy it is in there. Arwen only laughs and tells me that she doesn’t care about how my place looks like. She only cares about me. It is almost convincing enough to let me relax in her arms again.

“I love you so much Piper, you have no idea how much your existence in my life have helped me during this time apart.”

She sits down on my couch before I realize how tired and worn out she looks.

“Where’s your stuff?”

“Oh, I bought a place close to you. Left them there before I got here.”

“Oh.”

Why are you disappointed Piper? You should be happy that she has chosen to live in your town, close to you. Did you seriously suspect that she would like to move in with you right away? Yes, yes I expected her to move in here, or, I wanted to suggest it anyway. Anyhow, there is nothing I can do about it now.

“I have so many things to tell you my love. Do you have the time to listen?”

I nod before I get us some Nuka-Cola from the fridge and sit down next to her. Chills running down my spine as I see how sad and broken down my Blue looks. I let my hand gently hold hers. If she needs to speak, I will listen. That’s how we work. We are there for each other, no matter what.


	11. One story for the road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arwen hangs out with Piper again, telling her about how she met Cait
> 
> Or
> 
> When Blue is reimagining the Combat zone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you're all good and ready for some more Arwen. Here's a new chapter that I hope you'll like. 
> 
> Spoilers for how to find Cait in game.
> 
> XOXO

**Arwen**

I’m finally with my woman again. The one and only, Piper. I have so much to tell her and it feels like so little time. Before the war, the prickling feeling of one’s doom was never as close as it always were nowadays. It could be enough to step outside the door and get shot or even eaten by a ghoul. Those things were particularly rare back in the day. Especially, since ghouls didn’t exist back then.

Being with Piper again, feeling her soft skin and her amazing scent that drives me crazy, that takes my mind off things. I didn’t think that I would be able to do that again. These past months had been horrible but also wonderful.

I don’t know where to begin my story, but it feels right to begin with were I left her, my Piper.

“You know when I left Diamond city two months ago, I didn’t actually think I would be able to come back.”

The look in her face as I said it, made me regret my choice of words in an instant. The hurt in her eyes. It was like I told her the world was going to end. That there would be no more Nuka-Cola and that all the noodles were eaten.

“I wish I had followed you,” Piper says with her voice trembling.

She still holds my hand, looking all seriously at me. I feel myself getting all warm and fuzzy on the inside. How can a person affect another like that?

“I didn’t want to risk it. I didn’t want you to risk your life like that my love.”

I inhale as if I try to gain some courage. Opening up had always been hard for me. I had so many reasons to keep my feelings bottled up. So many reasons to keep them hidden. Sometimes I wondered if it was better to keep them hidden than risk waking up my inner monster. The parts of myself that only one person had been able to handle before. My demons had never scared Nate, maybe because he had similar problems.

Piper’s sweet hazel eyes gazing at me, scrutinizing every inch of my face. Looking like she wanted me to continue my story. I had missed her so much, my sweet angel. How could I be so lucky to have found such a wonderful woman?

“Leaving here with McCready and Dogmeat, we didn’t go for a quest to begin with. We walked around looking for raiders who made life difficult for good people. We did the usual, sneaking around. Using our sniper rifles to blow their heads off.”

One sip of my Cola before I continue. Piper gives me an encouraging nod as to show that she listens and wants to hear more.

“So, we had found this nest of scumbags and went into a gigantic building, trying to get as many as we could. Bullets everywhere, you know, the usual stuff. When we got to their boss, we heard them talking about a place called the Combat Zone. There was apparently a woman there who was pretty much trapped and had to fight every day. That’s no fate I would wish for anyone, so we cleared out the place we were at before we headed to CZ.”

The woman next to me made a scoff and rolled her eyes at me.

“You had to go there as the savior, right?”

I laughed at her, it was so funny that she knew me this well already. Most people back before the war, they never got to know me. I had no idea if it was because they didn’t care enough or if I didn’t give them a chance.

“I did…”

 

**_(Flashback to two months earlier in the Combat zone)_ **

_We are out checking some buildings and get to a place called the Combat zone, it is a cage fighting arena. We see loads of signs to keep out, those are not the only warning signs to keep people away, though. The stench and the worn-down house should be enough. I sign to my companions to follow me inside. I tell McCready to watch my back since I prepare to open the door into the building. One last check to see how much ammo I’ve got left in my Sniper rifle before entering. I’ve got a lot, and my weapon seems to be in good condition. McCready draws his rifle too, reading for us to go into stealth mode. Stealth is not my strongest side, but I get fewer cuts and bruises from it. Might as well help me survive, who knew, right?_

_As I open the door, the smell of dried blood, puke and piss hits us. It’s so disgusting that I have to hold back my own urge to retch._

_“The most disgusting smell ever,” I whisper to McCready who agrees. "You try to stay behind me Dogmeat."_

_I look at the dog before giving him a quick pet, since he is a good boy. Dogmeat looks at me before letting his tongue lick my hand. Me and McCready both giggle a bit. Then we get back into our killer mode.  
_

_We enter a small hallway, looking into what looks like an old cinema or something like it. Loads of chairs everywhere and in the furthest end of that room is a stage with a large cage on top. In front of the stage is a large group of raiders cheering. I look into my scope, seeing small buildings on both sides of the room, were there is some raiders standing on the roofs. I count all the raiders, 20 of them, at least. This will be a tough fight, I give Deacon the Intel. That is before I check out the ongoing fistfight in the cage. A rather bloody raider is fighting a redhead with corset, beige pants and combat boots. The redhead is definitely winning. She yells foul atrocities to her combatant with a thick Irish accent. After the final blow at her opponent, I realize it is time for me to rinse the place from scumbags._

_I zoom in at the raider on the rooftop to the left of me, boom, headshot. He’s body falls down with a thud. The raider at the rooftop on the right, I hit him right in his head too. A loud thump is heard while his body falls down the roof and his friends see us. I change weapon to my explosive shotgun and Deacon has found a minigun he starts to use. I can hear the redhead scream, cheering songs for us. The fight is over before it even starts. A male voice asks me and Deacon to get down to the cage. There, were the owner of the voice, who is a ghoul, and the redhead had been hiding during our raider fight._

_“I don’t know if I should hit you or kiss you for killing of my entire clientel.” The ghoul named Tommie lights a cigarette before he keeps talking to me. “You put up a really good show though, so I will hand you Cait here’s contract.”_

_“Wait you what? Tommie what are ya thinking?” The redhead seems quite taken aback by this development._

_“I don’t know, it depends on how Cait feels,” I say, letting my eyes go from one person to the next._

_I watch the woman’s face. She has loads of cute freckles and her red hair seems like it has never been introduced to a hairbrush. Her green eyes are piercing through me. She is rather skinny, but I can see that she has lean muscles. The woman is quite beautiful, or more sexy. I am not quite sure, but when she speaks it feels like I’m under a spell. The ghoul beside her looks tired and worn out. I don’t give him as much attention as Cait._

_“Well Cait, now you will just be a liability to me. I have no customers, and you have no one to fight. I can’t keep you here.”_

_“So, ye’re just handing me to a fecking stranger?” “I like the look on this kids face, or I don’t know. I usually am good at stuff like this.”_

_“Well feck off ye bastard,” Cait spits on the floor in front of Tommie._

_It really feels like I got stuck in the middle of a family feud or something and I just want to go home. Tommie hands me a contract and tells me to take care of Cait before he vanishes. I stand there, feeling stupid, not really grasping what just happened._

_McCready tells me that he has some other things he has to do and that we will catch up. Then he leaves me with Cait. Dogmeat standing there hoping for cuddles since he had been a good boy and didn’t run out in the middle of the fight. Cait looks at me, but still it feels like she doesn’t feel a thing. Her eyes look empty with enlarged pupils._

_“So’ re we just gonna stand here eh?”_

_“No, of course not. Let’s go!” While we open the door to the outside and smell the fresh air again, I feel like a new person. It feels weird though, thinking of Piper, but being reminded that there is a new woman beside me now who needs me. I don’t know why, but I just feel Cait needs me more than anyone has ever needed me before._

**(Back to the present)**

I only tell Piper the parts that she needs to know. Feeling her squeeze my hand a bit extra at the more dangerous parts of the story. When I finish it, she gives me a big hug.

“I’m so glad that you’re here again Blue.”

“Me too honey,” I hug her back and remember that I have many more things to tell her about my adventures.

“That was one hell of a story. Looking forward to hear more,” a small kiss on my cheek, making me all warm inside.

“I’ll tell you more later. Let’s go get something to eat.”

We get out of the place, hand in hand. It feels so natural and so amazing. Like our hands are made for each other. For a minute, I feel like the world isn’t such a bad place. Because I am finally with my woman again.


End file.
